Feeling Unrest at Work? Maybe You’re Prioritizing Etiquette Over Professionalism

In this episode, host Dana Tenille Weekes challenges the commonly overlooked confusion between niceness and professionalism and how that confusion can create an unhealthy or even toxic work culture. 

She offers a retake on the definition of professionalism: “Owning your responsibilities and the truths and realities of your work with a deep sense of care, requisite skills (and competency), and required pace.”

Drawing on her experiences as a lawyer in Big Law and now as an organizational health advisor, and incorporating a powerful excerpt from her article on professionalism, which was picked up by Business Insider in 2020, Dana makes the case that etiquette is often prioritized over equity at a high cost.

What You’ll Settle Into

• How avoiding the truth under the guise of being “polite” or “professional” leads to unrest for you and your colleagues. 
• How truth, not etiquette, should define professional behavior, and how Dana’s definition of “professionalism” is a reframing that encompasses truth, care, skills, and pace.
• Three reflection questions/prompts to help you transition from being nice or polite to professional.

Key Quotes & Insights

“Being nice” absolves accountability and discourages problem-solving.

“Choosing etiquette will take the place of equity, and you will contribute to the inequities of your work environment whether you like it or not, whether you want to be held accountable or not.”

Unhealthy or toxic work environments are cultivated to avoid the one thing they must deal with … the truth. They do not encourage problem-solving. Instead, they promote survival and competition. They promote hiding a lot of yourself to succeed and get ahead.

“In a healthy environment, there is little to no gaslighting. In an unhealthy environment, people gaslight you. In a toxic environment, people teach you how to gaslight yourself.”

Mentions

Business Insider Article or Instagram — “Want to Do Something to Enact Equity? Quit Being Nice at Work,” written by Dana Weekes in 2020.

LENGTH: 26 minutes