“Strategies of a Savior” by Nicole J. Evans

i save myself.
i hold my head through dizzying
circumstances, time, and season
relay over and under

standing the ways i’ll drown in dismay.
troubles of this bleak, miserly world swallow
me; this crystalline universe within will be smote and obliterated,
save I focus on a ball of light

just to stay afloat.
where do I focus when banality leaves me bleary-eyed?
on whom do I place the mask when breath loses feasibility?
what does it matter if I fall off the ledge of reality?

who does it impact? grounded in a grave,
greyed concern, wrinkles
‘round my NaNa’s eye, wither in the brow
of all elders and ancestors,

the way time doth wrought the weight of anxiety
across thy countenance, what am I to do but repeat
their sentiments with rivets
of knowledge beading my face?

what gift was given in anticipation of barely
surviving, just hanging on by threads
of defeat, by the soles of your seat,
by the standards replete?

with carnal knowledge of undisputed myths
and lacy legends of perishable circumstance,
by hide nor hair?
neither truth nor dare dictates the matter.

my choice is not merely survival;
my intent is exasperation
of expression, to breathe and live in experience–
and not on my knees.